Irrfan passed away on April 29 last year leaving a deep void in the hearts of his family, friends and fans. The actor lost the battle against neuroendocrine tumour but during his ordeal one person who always stood by him was his wife, Sutapa Sikdar. Now, in a recent interview with a leading daily Sutapa spoke about strength, loss, introspection and the strange connection that she had with Irrfan. She also revealed that even though Irrfan is not around she still feels his presence around her in various ways.
Talking about life after Irrfan’s death, Sutapa said, “The loneliness is very strong. Because as is, we were not very social, we did not have too many friends. We were always that two-people unit. He was working a lot, so it’s not like he was there the whole day with me, so that way I am quite used to being alone, being on my own, doing my own book reading or whatever. But the point is, you know, whenever there is leisure time or a time where you are having some kind of a break, it was everything to do with him only, na. He would come back from shoot and we would see a film or talk – mostly see a film. So it’s so revolved around him and along with him. It is very difficult to figure out a life without him.”
Sutapa also spoke about the connection that she and Irrfan shared based on rain, fragrance and his native place, Rajasthan. She said, “Irrfan and I have a very strange connection – both of us loved the rain. And both of us would joke – if it was very hot and Irrfan was going to shoot somewhere, he would be like ‘ bahut garmi hai dekhte hain na...’ and it would rain the next day. And he would say, ‘ Dekha? I got the rain!’ So you know, we always had this rain connection, this joke. And when I went to Jaipur, it was a very hot day – and then, that night, it rained! The weather wasn’t like that at all earlier. It felt so strange that it rained. But that wasn’t all. When I was travelling back on the Jaipur-Mumbai highway, Google Maps told us that there was congestion and suggested an alternate route. My driver also didn’t understand it, we thought it must be a short diversion for a bit, we took it anyway. It was an unfamiliar road, I kept seeing where we were going and then I was like – Oh my God! We are going via Tonk!”
She further explained, “Tonk is the place he belonged to. Initially, I had planned to go to Tonk when I came to Jaipur but then had cancelled it because of the COVID situation – and then I find I am, despite that decision, finally going via Tonk. Drawn there, sort of. And also, you know, sometimes there is this smell thing. Woh jo baarish ki jo geeli mitti ki khushboo jo Rajasthan k i hoti hai na woh Bombay ki nahi hoti. Sab ki alag-alag hoti hai. So this happened in Bombay. Woh jaise baarish giri aur woh khushboo aayi na meri naak mein, main chhatt pe khadi thi, ek dum se na mujhe laga – My God! Matlab, I could feel every inch of his face. I could feel him saying that aisi khushboo toh nahi aati na Bombay mein? I could actually, literally feel him. It’s that. And there are things like that when I literally feel that suddenly there is some fragrance of some flowers. And it comes and it travels and it goes. I’m not a person who would believe in such things, but woh kuch cheezein aisi hoti hain ki aap ko aisa lagta hai ki they are signs from the universe. I don’t know what it is. It’s not that I am looking for a connect – dekha 11-11-11 ko yeh hua tha. I am not that kind of a person at all. But there are things where I feel suddenly that you know, as if everything is the same. He is around, he is just not physically present. That’s it.”
She ended by saying that it’s a comforting thought realizing that Irrfan is around her even if he isn’t there in person.
(Source: TOI)
