Chrissy Teigen who recently lost her and John Legend’s son, Jack due to pregnancy complications wrote a raw and emotional essay on Tuesday. Earlier, this month the couple had shared in a statement that they had lost their third child due to pregnancy complications. Chrissy has since then maintained a silence on her social media accounts and taken time to grieve, only breaking her silence to share screenshots of a thread posted to Twitter by her singer husband.

Almost a month later, Chrissy has finally opened up on what the couple went through. In the essay, she spoke about what the couple went through, the emotions, the pain and the anguish she went through and the gratitude she feels towards her fans and strangers who took time out to lend her support and empathize and grieve with her. She also discussed why she asked John to take the monochrome photos at the hospital after Jack’s birth and explained her thoughts in the essay. She wrote:

 

 

 

 

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I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt so....final. I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Oct 27, 2020 at 2:01pm PDT

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“I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.

I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.”

In her essay, she wrote, “Jack will always be loved,” and that she and John will explain him to their other children as “existing in the wind and the butterflies.” She thanked all of those people who thought of them and sent their stories- and encouraged people to be more open about these experiences and be empathetic and sympathetic so that no one has to go through the ordeal alone. She wrote, “People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart. A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.”

(Source: Medium/Instagram)